It’s Not the Size of Your Dream – It’s the Size of Your Fear
And what you will do about it!
We all have an inner longing to achieve or live out our dreams. But few do. Why is that? At the risk of sounding like a know-it-all, I think I can sum it up pretty simple:
The best way to keep a dream alive is never actually to take a step towards it.
If we use the same technique we use for to-do lists, we procrastinate our dreams. We like thinking about them, sharing them with close friends and family, and maybe even buying tools, supplies, or courses ( yes, even mine!) that would take us in that direction. But, alas, fulfilling the dream is a different story.
I Will Get Around to It Someday
The “dream” isn’t in the URGENT quadrant. Somehow we perceive it as an option. We have time.
Maybe it is a dream that you have and that you kept to yourself. If you keep it quiet, and there is no accountability to it, you can dream all your life, and no one will bother you. NOT EVEN YOUR DREAM.
Living the Dream
We all have dreams, but how many of us are ready to move from dreaming our dreams to living our dreams?
Have you noticed how long your dreams have hung around? Could it be that we neglect them rather than risk failing to achieve them?
If you don’t start, then you can’t fail.
If you don’t do anything about this dream of yours, then you can carry on talking to people about what you are ‘going to do.’ It will sound something like this: “I’m going to start _________________ (and this is where you insert that amazing dream of yours), tomorrow!”
People around you will smile, nod their heads along with verbal attends and then make encouraging noises because you appear so impressive and so action-oriented.
But then what happens?
Often, nothing.
Because even as you uttered those words to whoever it was that you were talking to, you knew deep down that you are still just dreaming.
And when you make this bold statement about ‘starting your dream tomorrow’ to the same people repeatedly, they will eventually stop believing, listening, or caring. Or maybe even all of the above.
Does this sound like you?
Dreams in the Rust Bucket
I left some dreams sitting outside in the weather for too long, like an old car when all the gears become rusted and fused.
You see them in neighborhoods the world over. Old cars covered in overgrown vegetation from the garden symbolize a dream that is just a dream. Sometimes it is a boat. Sometimes it is a relationship. Uncared for when it had the potential to be beautiful and a source of amazing memories. But it got left out in the rain and taken for granted. Again.
As we continue dreaming and not acting, that rust worsens.
Disappearing Dreams
Summer turns to Fall, and then it turns to Winter, and eventually, the dream that we left outside gets wholly covered over and disappears from sight.
Other people can’t see it anymore because you have stopped talking about it.
But you know it’s still there.
You can feel it all day long, every day, in the pit of your stomach.
Have you read the book The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett? It is an inspirational tale of transformation and empowerment. There is a beautiful new movie version starring Julie Walters and Colin Firth, two of my favorite actors.
The Fear Behind the Failure of a Dream
But of course, that ‘secret garden’ is an analogy for our dreams, waiting for you to discover how to clear away the ivy and unlock the door of action.
So, what is the secret to ripping away that smothering vegetation, that stuff that has grown over and made your dreams disappear from view?
The energy keeping you where you are is often something called fear.
Fear of failing.
Fear of the fact that if you start and fail, you will have nothing left to dream.
Tackle the Fear to Get to the Dream
We eliminate fear by tackling it—one small step at a time.
The idea is to turn your colossal mountain range of a dream into a single step on the path.
Like how one cuts away that first strip of ivy.
Walking With Sandwiches
We use a wonderful motivational video called Walking With Sandwiches in our SONAR Leadership workshops. At the end of the video, we hear the main character say, “Most of us don’t even realize what we’re capable of. It begins with a single step. You just have to start moving.”
So, think for a moment about your dream, that mountain range.
It could be anything. Your dream could be something personal or perhaps something professional.
What can you do today that would move you closer to it?
What is the one step that you could take? Today?
Sonar Leadership December 01, 2022, in North Vancouver
To develop your leadership skills, you must face the fear of failing. I encourage you to consider investing in yourself and your future. Start 2023 with a new vision – and the tools and disciplines to take you where you want to go. To pursue your dream. Learn More
