It’s Time To Talk
Challenging discussions are never easy.
We can, however, make them less awkward and painful and, instead, more pleasant and productive. First, we need to prepare appropriately. The time you take before the conversation will make all the difference in the outcome. You will be glad you prepared.
Moving from Difficult to Beneficial – Unpleasant to Positive
By learning to effectively handle difficult conversations in a manner that produces the best possible outcome for all parties, we are also changing the way we think about these conversations.
We are far more likely to achieve the desired results if we approach the tough talks with a better attitude and skillful conversation and expect the best possible outcome for all concerned.
Turn the Conversation into a Dialogue
Your difficult conversation with a team member should seem more like a dialogue than a monologue. So many times in our Respectful Workplace workshops, we hear how participants do not like being talked at. We are not children receiving instructions from our parents. People crave a two-way dialogue—a conversation towards constructive resolution.
Feedback and open discussions are vital to keeping the conversation civil and fruitful.
Is there a possible agreement? If not, why not, and what needs to be addressed to get there?
You want to be discussing the point to its conclusion.
You should also be genuinely curious and not apprehensive about asking questions. Ensure they are open-ended and invite a complete response rather than closed-ended questions, which allow one-word answers and shut down dialogue altogether.
When we demonstrate a genuine curiosity to learn more about a particular situation, it conveys our willingness to be open-minded and honest.
We want to demonstrate that we are vested in finding the right solution for everyone.
Be an Empath and Put Yourself in Their Shoes
When we show that we understand or feel what the other person is experiencing during a difficult conversation, we show that we are in this with them.
Regardless of the scenario, consider how our coworkers feel, especially during a difficult conversation.
If you notice they are experiencing difficulty processing some or all of what you said, seem emotional or stressed, allow them sufficient time to gather their thoughts. I am an introvert and have found that I process information differently than others I know, so it’s not that I don’t want to answer your question; it’s just that I haven’t finished processing it yet!
Put yourself in their shoes!
Present your side of the conversation in a manner that is friendly, open-minded, and always focused on resolution.
Approach the Situation Positively
Setting and maintaining a positive tone helps to keep things from going south. In other words, a negative approach will almost certainly result in defensive and argumentative reactions from your coworkers – it will be a waste of everyone’s time and will likely worsen the situation you are trying to resolve.
Think about this: If tables were turned, how would you like things said to you?
One way to have a positive energy in any meeting is, simply, to create it. Go into the meeting with confidence that it will go well. Bring the energy with you! By approaching the difficult conversation you are about to have positively, the energy you bring will also be positive. We are all infectious to others around us.
Successfully managing and resolving a challenging work situation should also improve your relationship(s) with the parties involved.
Focusing on the positive (identifying the problems and finding solutions) and minimizing the negative (the effects of the issues) will impact the relationship(s) moving forward.
