Self-Compassion is an Honest Look at Being Human

We are all guilty of having been a little harsh on ourselves over a setback or mistake in our lives—on both personal and professional levels. Commonly we question, “what could I  have done better,  or how could I have tried a little harder.”  Often in hindsight, we ask why we couldn’t have prevented an unfortunate circumstance or event.

Setbacks and mistakes in life are inevitable, and for the vast majority of us, life will seldom unfold as we predicted. 

Berating ourselves is not helpful when things go wrong and won’t help when things could have been better. This type of thinking can lead to us developing chronically low self-esteem and an inability to develop and grow as people. A healthier and more beneficial approach to dealing with setbacks in our lives is understanding and accepting ourselves—being more compassionate. 

Self-compassion means being kinder, gentler, and more accepting of who we are and not allowing shortcomings in life — whether we can control them or not — to measure our sense of worth and our capabilities. 

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is exactly what it sounds like. The simplest definitions would describe it as supporting yourself by being nicer to yourself and relating to yourself with kindness and understanding. 

What self-compassion is not is judging yourself. 

Rather than being your own worst critic and berating yourself for what you deem to be a shortcoming, self-compassion offers a warm, unconditional acceptance of your life. It relates to your professional and personal life and encourages acceptance in good times and bad times, especially when you have made mistakes.

When you recognize the difference between making a poor decision and being a bad or inadequate person you are practicing self-compassion.

Self-compassion forces you to understand and accept that your worth as a person does not depend on what is happening in your life professionally or personally.

Your value to yourself is unconditional. 

Accepting all that we are and can be

Self-compassion is a handy tool for encouraging us to develop and grow on a personal and professional level. When you practice a compassionate attitude toward yourself, your sense of self-worth is higher, making your resilience more potent. It’s easier to allow negativity to pass and not take over our thoughts and emotions. We move beyond the blanket judgment of ourselves and, consequently, of others.

In other words, self-compassion allows us to weather the storm, dust ourselves off, and move on. 

Self-compassion gives us all permission to make mistakes and accept how we are feeling. Equally important, it also helps us to acknowledge that other people have similar feelings, have felt this way before, and are likely to feel this way again in the future. We are not alone. Everybody experiences failure. We gain an important perspective on our lives and those around us, which aids us in our overall leadership effectiveness.

 Remember how we treat ourselves inevitably reflects how we let others treat us. 

Being overly critical and unkind to yourself is almost certain to create a standard for how much negativity you will accept from others.

Self-reflection and honest acceptance promote professional growth.

Self-reflection is also a crucial aspect of professional growth. Without pausing to reflect on our competencies, actions, and attitudes in the workplace, we cannot allow ourselves access to a realistic assessment.  Our professional lives depend not only on our strengths but understanding where we may not be as strong and shoring up those competencies in other ways. 

And it all starts with reflection, which can be highly influenced by the eyes of compassion we use or don’t use.

Self-compassion is allowing ourselves the space to be human without a critical inner voice telling us we are doing something wrong. 

We begin nurturing a perspective that provides us the freedom to have faith in our potential and our place in the present and the future.