Seeing Ourselves Through The Eyes Of Others
I had a strange encounter recently. In a pleasant conversation, a colleague suggested that “just like you, Rob doesn’t much care for deep discussions.” I didn’t defend my position or suggest she was incorrect, but it got me thinking. I wonder if that is what many people think about me, how well people know me, and if they don’t know me, who is responsible for that?
Have you ever had one of those moments when someone comments about you, and you think, “Is that really how I appear to other people?”
Exercise
Here is an exercise that, if you allow it to be, can be, at the least, interesting.
I have an extensive downloadable list of characteristics. Some descriptors seem positive, some neutral, some more harmful perhaps. All of us are a mixture – like a painting; we are bright lights and dark shadows. The idea behind the list is not to judge the characteristics but to recognize the traits in yourself and others. Consider it another form of self-awareness.
Have a look at this list of characteristics
At Fiore Group Training, we use an exercise called the Johari Window to explore self-perceptions.
Are You Willing to Know?
Think of the person you know the best in your workplace and ask if they would like to join you in a personal exploration exercise. You would write a list of ten characteristics that best describe them as you experience them.
On another chart, have them do the same; they list ten characteristics they think best describe themselves.
Now compare the answers side-by-side to see how many of them are the same and how many are different. This will give you something to talk about for a while! It is most helpful if you are open to understanding that what is seen in others is often a reflection of how we view ourselves.
Be Brave and Let the Tables Turn
Let them do the same for you while you, in turn, choose ten characteristics you believe best describe yourself. Be open – not defensive. Just have a “look-see” at how you are perceived. Let things simmer for a while in your thoughts. See what you learn.
Leaders are always learning, and learning can lead to personal growth, change, and development.
