Is Your Relationship Worth Some Discomfort?
Work relationships, which often involve competitive ideas and egos, get tiresome when we don’t get along. But consider this: without the people who work with you doing their job and bringing their skills to the table – you most likely could not do what you do as well as you do! We need one another, whether we like that or not. Maybe your work (or personal situation) could improve if it was you who took the time to consider:
Tips for Tough Conversations
Tip #1: Devote the Time
Conversations need time. The rushed 2 minutes, “I am in a hurry, can we do this later,” conversation is NOT a conversation. Research shows that we spend much less time communicating (which involves listening) to people close to us than we should (or imagine).
Remember, a conversation is different from talking – giving a command, reminding of a deadline etc.
Tip #2: Share the Airtime
Enjoy the dance! There is a two-way partnership, with neither side dominating in a good conversation. One follows the movement or the signals of the other.
Tip #3 Take the time to Talk Together More Often
Unlike your best pal relationship, which enables the two of you to pick up where you left off, even if it’s been 20 years, most relationships need food and water. We nourish relationships through communicating. Of course, not all relationships require talking all the time, but we find ways to “say” what the other person understands completely.
i.e. ” Hey Bob, I was picking up coffee. I noticed you have yours black. Hand him the coffee – you need “say” no more. Your actions said a lot!
Tip #4: Value Differences
Every conversation is a potential learning experience. We can all make our lives richer by understanding the experiences of others. Having a conversation with someone is like exploring the pages of a book full of valuable knowledge. There is a technique called ‘The Johari Window‘ which explores this concept further. Fiore Group Training uses this technique during our Respectful Workplace workshops.
Tip #5: Own Your Own Thoughts and Feelings
Try to avoid the Blame Game. Use statements that take ownership and responsibility for your own experience when talking about your thoughts and feelings. Work with “I” statements and avoid “you” statements.
Take The Tips on Vacation
Tough times can arise even when you are relaxing on a family vacation. Remember these tips this summer when you are in a tent with the one you love! Relationships we value and depend on are worth the effort!
